Tuesday, February 07, 2006

King's Queen

I am overcome with emotions that I need to release. I feel like words are failing me because nothing in the King's english can express what I feel today. These are my thoughts: He would never have been able to do all that he did and become all that he became for his family, this country, our youth, and the world without his Queen. She was courageous. She knew that this life would not be easy when she said to her future husband that she would be by his side...through it all and still she said "Yes." It took her six months to say "Yes" and it took her strength, love, and grace to help him through those frightening nights, sad days, and this society's painful ways. King's Queen was/is more important to us than I think we knew/know. I miss her already...I pray that I will be as strong, amazing, beautiful, compassionate, comforting, intelligent, impactful as Mama Coretta Scott King...Although I never received her hand, her presence and comfort has floated on top of, around, in between, and through my life, my mama's life, my grandmama's life. That woman lost her King and she never put down her crown. Never put down her crown...She fought his battles when he couldn't fight them himself, all the while, still fighting her own...that is something known to me and because of that, in addition to all her other amazing accomplishments...I am honored to call her mine, to call her ours, to call her name...Queen...Mama...Blessing...Beauty... Inspiration...Coretta...Yeye...All of the above. I am so overwhelmed by this loss...The tears come easy, but the words are choking me...I'm afraid for my people...We're losing so many, and the torch has yet to be passed...I volunteer myself...send me...I'll go...I'll do this work because I love HER, I love my family, I love my people, I love my past, I love my lessons, I love us more than I love things...I love Afrikans. It doesn't matter what we call ourselves...to me we are Afrikans and I love US. Flaws and flawlessness...we are perfect...maybe not yet realized, AND WE ARE PERFECT! I love us...I love Black people...I love African Americans...I love people of African descent...I love Afrikan people so much that if this struggle calls me, my answer will be, "I will go...send me" Thank you Afrikan women...Mama, Grandmama, Coretta, Betty, Sonia, Nikki, Assata, Angela, Ariminta , Ida, Veta, Marimba, Sonja, Sojourner, Bea, Margaret, bell, Patricia, Mary, Nina, Zora, Pearl, Katherine, Alice, Sarah, Bessie, Maya, Billie, Dorothy, Lena, Toni, Rosa, Leontyne, Ethel, Phillis, Sally, Ntozake, Elaine, Audre, and all the other Queens that have come before me...Thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...thank you...I can't say thank you enough because there isn't enough time in this life to share all my gratitude...I am thankful to you and when I think of what you gave to us...I cannot thank you enough. You were tired and you still kept going. You were hurt and you still kept going. You were taken for granted and you still kept going. You gave so much without receiving half of what you shared and you still kept going. Our Queens showed us the Creator's love...they walked it, spoke it, danced it, wrote it, cried it, wailed it, gave it, breathed it, laughed it, learned it, birthed it, proved it, knew it...They are God's love...I aspire to be that and more. I apsire to make our Afrikan Queens feel my devotion to their work. I apsire to make our Afrikan Queens know that I am humbled and inspired by their love and actions...and so I say again, if the question comes, when the struggle calls for me, when the ancestors call on me, when the Creator feels that we are ready for change, when it is time to run head first into the devil's army for my Afrikan warriors, our people, our children, our babies, our unborn, our past, our memories, our future...I promise to our Queens that I will say, "Send me...I will go...send me..."

3 Comments:

At 9:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous had said was, uh...

Wonderful words my sistah. You should mail this into Oprah, Ebony, Jet and any other periodical that deserves to hear your voice. I'm so proud of you and keep writing because you are absolutely fabulous!!

~Benita

 
At 6:05 PM, Blogger Sarah had said was, uh...

My Dearest Ayana- you are truly a griot of our generation. I think this blog spoke to me in a particularly special way, of course for the obvious reason, in recognition of Coretta, and the numerous women warriors that seem to go either unotice or with a notice that does not truly exemplify sincere gratitude to their contribution...but also in the midst of such anger that I see in the newspapers (for example the cartooning of Muslims and/ or Jews in Denmark and Iran) as well as the anger and unhappiness I sometimes see in the very face of my students at the center I work at. Send me, you say, and every time I read that line I am reminded of why I am here, and why you are here, and why my mother and your mother and my father, and my grandmother, and those before us were here and still are here. I am remind of this massive struggle that we all (willingly or not) are apart of. When you say send me, I get a viseral reaction because I know that I only stand before my students because of so many others, so many other unoticed women warriors and male ones too. I am able to be truly present. I see your words as a reminder that I do not go this alone, I never did, I see this as a reminder.

 
At 12:40 AM, Blogger Kilimanjaro: High and Lo had said was, uh...

Ayana dear, this made me cry.

thank you for giving me that--i cry as i type (and really i don't know why i cry)

it was so beautiful to read

thanks for sharing sister--i think the music added to the heart-felt content

india-

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

<

MyMusicCode.com