Monday, December 12, 2005

Please don't let me...

I wrote this through tears as I mourned a lost love...It is my plea to the Creator...


Please don't let me do it again. Don't let me love like this again...I just want to come out of my skin. I want the memory to end. I want the truth to begin inside these palms that my broken heart, wounded spirit, and red eyes lie in..I want to feel genuinely whole again...I hate the stench of mistakes and foul play...I want lemon scented new to wash over my heart and make it hard again...I want to disappear again...cut off my hands for reaching for him...burn my skin with hate for ever allowing it to touch his skin...remove my brain for thinking of him...Where is the one for me? Where is my king? When will I meet the man worthy of me? Please don't let me do it again. Don't let me love like that again....I just want to come out of my skin. I want the memory to end. I want the truth to begin inside these palms that my broken heart, wounded spirit, and red eyes lie in...I want to feel genuinely whole again...I apologize to the one meant for me because these tired feet and battered peace are no longer trusting...for trust leads to "sorry"'s without reconciliation, "I love you"'s that I can't rest my body in, lies, lies, lies that destroy and forced pro-creation...I don't want to hate, and what other choice can I make? To make this all make sense...make him past tense and no longer a part of my present...I commit to goodbye with new levels of despise...I wish I felt loved enough to forgive, and he won't allow that wish to live...it dies and falls to the ground like empty words spoken to disguise the contempt in a selfish mans eyes...I......am......begging......you...Please don't let me do it again. Don't let me love like that again...I just want to come out of my skin. I want the memory to end. I want the truth to begin inside these palms that my broken heart, my wounded spirit, and my red eyes lie in..I want to feel genuinely whole again...

2 Comments:

At 11:18 AM, Blogger Omni Loving had said was, uh...

Everytime I read this it makes me sad.

 
At 1:02 PM, Blogger Sarah had said was, uh...

"I apologize to the one meant for me because these tired feet and battered peace are no longer trusting"

My favorite part. Because it represents the healing in the midst of pain, the acknowledgement of a continued spirit (of course when it is ready). What I like about this is that it is raw emotion...anyone that has lost trust/ love in someone can feel this, see it, taste it.

My dearest Ayana, That we can be miles and miles apart, bloggers, friends, folk in our lives, and still get it- be connected is what is so beautifully magnificent. I guess the color of our emotions are like those fall leaves...they drop from trees (origin)...to be picked up by others...appreciated in some fashion and for...perhaps discarded, or held on for another day.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

<

MyMusicCode.com