That Hump
"...I sing my sorrows to the morningI speak them to the night
You best believe I'll keep singing
Until I make my wrongs so right
Devil said, "A penny for your troubles
to take your tired old soul.
So, you know, you got to go and..."
Hurry...to catch the morning,
You've got to hurry on now
In the night I would hear my sorrow...
I didn't know..(won't be long now)
Hurry...
...He stole my sorrows from the morning
He ripped them from the night
And you best believe I'll keep singing
to make my wrongs so right
Devil took a penny of my troubles
He holds my tired old soul
So, I know, I've got to go...
Hurry...to catch the morning,
I've got to hurry on now
In the night I would hear my sorrow...
Now I know...(won't be long now)
Hurry...~~~Alice Russell
Oooooh...I have so many things in me right now. I had a fast-paced, nostalgic, traumatic, fun-filled weekend. I had some encounters this weekend with some new brothas that made me unlock a yearning in me that I really didn't want to shake hands with right now. I remember that yearning and it makes me feel empty and hungry at night. These are the moments that I curse my fathers genes. He's the passionate one...he's the physically affectionate one in my parent's relationship. He likes the public displays of affection...hugs, kisses, dancing...the old school, charming, charismatic gentleman. He has always seemed to like all of that physicality. I think it's in his sign. He's a Taurus...they're passionate folks. I'm on the cusp...Gemini-Taurus...I got it rough. lol.
Well, anyway, some brothas awakened some feelings inside of me that I didn't want to be swayed at the moment and now I have to shake it off, but a part of me doesn't want to shake it off...that part just wants to feed this hunger I feel brewing inside...aching...at my fingertips...quickening my breath. I just want it to be satisfied...I find myself re-running our brief conversations, playing back the lingering looks we shared that day, wondering if I should call the number he gave me even though he has my number too now...ooooh...also knowing that a few of my homegirls got his card and one of them was openly plotting on him although she saw/knew he sparked conversation with me. See! This is what I didn't want to open up...too much. I want more certainty. I want him, whoever he is, to be soooo wrapped up in me and getting to know "that sista," a.k.a. me, that I don't even have an opportunity to have all of these thoughts. An active pursuit. I like those. I have a few brothas on that tip, but not the ones that I want to be on that tip...isn't that always the way? I'm open wide and I just want to be swept off my feet by the man that I envision...It's time for me to re-up...really time. This happens to me a few times a year when I'm single...well, officially single...I want to belong to someone that I want to belong to sometimes...not just anyone...someone that I WANT to belong to...*sigh*
I haven't had a gooooood kiss in a while...
I haven't had a gooooood hug in a while...
I haven't had a gooooood sleepover in a while...
I haven't had a gooooood back rub in a while...
I haven't had a gooooood comfort in a while...
I haven't had a gooooood cuddle in a while...
I haven't had a gooooood enlightenment in a while...
I haven't had a gooooood dream in a while...
I haven't had a gooooood date in a while...
I haven't had a gooooood dance in a while...
I haven't had a gooooood serenade in a while...
I haven't had a gooooood stomach flutter in a while...
I haven't had a gooooood crush in a while...
I haven't had a gooooood man in a while...
It's been a while and I'm working on being ready to receive the energy and physicality that I crave and openly desire...I'm ready...I truly believe that I am and I'll wait for it to come find me. I'm eager, and I'll wait...that's what I'll do...I'll wait in this space of longing and anticipation. I'll continue to picture my footprints disappearing as this shadowy-figured beautiful brown man scoops me into his journey and we glide together...I'm gonna see it and open myself up to the realization of what I want to attract...I'm ready to fly...
In the light...
Ayana
posted by The Funky Fly Fresh Goddess @ 4/28/2008 11:36:00 PM
3 Comments:
Guuurrrrllll, I understand your pain. I've been there, and quiet as kept, there are times I still feel what you're feeling...I guess long distance relationships leave you vulnerable like that.
Thanks, Dad, for passing down these crazy genes of yours. ;) I'm glad to know I'm not the only one in battle. :)
My prayer for you... Good vibes, good energy, good memories, and plenty of goosebumps.
Love, peace, and a hot tan for the summer -
Azizi
i think when you and that man find one another...he is going to be happy as can be. you appear to be the soul stirring type. the kind of woman who men hardly ever forget, long after the relationship has ended.
you are someting serious with your thoughts and pen.
i too curse my father's genes. lol. i am a scorpio, so i am even more passionate about it. guess i have it just a bad as you do.
oh, and the chaka khan song is the bomb.
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