Sunday, October 23, 2005

Acceptance


I loved the hope in you. It gave me hope. I hoped that your hope in us would last so that I could move past all of my fears surrounding our possibilities. The magnificence that we were capable of was clear to me and I was petrified because I couldn't believe that it was real. I hoped that you would never lose that hope for as long as you breathed this earth's air. I didn't have much hope or faith in the beginning of this and your hope helped me to hope again. Seeking and eventually finding hope after years of forgetting hope's address was a surprise for me and it made me warm, excited, happy, eager, and hot to see the hope in your eyes, words, actions, and energy. My story was becoming "No, no, no, no, no" to that old sad love song cause you made me love when I didn't want to love, want when I didn't want to want, believe when I didn't want to believe, and yes...hope when I didn't want to hope and now you don't hope the same and because of that I have to go back to not hoping again. Hope is a funny thing. It's fragile and apparently temperamental. Hope and I may not be made for each other cause that damn hope is always running out just when a sista gets fairly comfortable.

I loved the faith in you. Your faith in us gave me faith in us. I had hope and faith that the faith you had in us would last so that I could move past all of my fears surrounding our possibilities. I wanted so much for your faith in us to never fade. Your unwavering faith would've given me a faith in this that would have never faded. Unfortunately, that's not this story. Now I can't make friends with hope or faith because that would lead to disappointment and disappointment and I just don't get along. Now us can't be trusted like I thought we could cause I need to follow your lead and your lead is going away from me, from hope, from faith, AND you can't blame me for your decision to not have pure and unwavering hope and faith in us...that's your decision and I support that and move forward accordingly...I've followed your lead thus far and this is where I've gotten and I think from here on out I'll be more cautious about this hope and faith stuff...it's a bit tricky AND maybe one day I'll figure out this puzzle...the man's game...

3 Comments:

At 11:48 AM, Blogger Gradly had said was, uh...

Wonderfully amazing.

 
At 10:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous had said was, uh...

The Creator can't help but smile when she looks down and witness this wonder, this angel, this unrealized perfection she has created in her own image. You are love, you are joy, you are hope and the strength the ancestors possessed and passed on to those of us with the courage to pick ourselves up when we fall. Though we may falter sometimes. we know that we must continue the struggle, continue the journey until our greatness and the greatness of our people are realized. We, the Sista Hood, will awaken our people, enlighten our men until they remember what it is to be a man, a King who respects and protects his Queen, who realizes that only she holds the key that can unlock the mysteries and solve the puzzles that have stunted his spiritual growth and left him emotionally challenged and confused. Until and unless this happens, we will continue walking through life in a semiconscious state, unfulfilled people with unrealized destinies.

You are truly my best self and everything about you brings me great joy.

Loving you is so easy because you're beautiful.

Love ya,
Mommy

 
At 3:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous had said was, uh...

Sis, Your mums beautiful...WOW! so i can only infer that you must be something serious...like mother, like daughter~

 

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